The Muppet Show
I didn't think long about which figures to include in my New Year's Nativity scene. The choice was simple. It couldn't be without those who so selflessly and with such great care take care of our affairs and build our sense of security.
So there is the Inquisitor, thanks to whom judges no longer steal drills from supermarkets and Brussels bureaucrats have started treating us with respect.
There is a Priest whom women thank for showing them their place, and parents for saving their children from being forced to masturbate.
There is also the Embezzler, whose work is tangible proof that even a humble boy from Pcim can become a good steward of the national wealth, as long as he stands out with good competence and commitment.
There is the Dilettante, who was able to predict inflation attacks with surprising precision, then nip them in the bud, and then explain the intricate twists of economics to the public in a simple and understandable way for the average person.
There is also Goldmund, who is closer to the Middle East than Radom and who repays loans when he takes them.
There is a Magistrate who, as befits the head of the highest tribunal, can not only cook delicious meals, but also complete every order on time and independently.
There is also Picer, who from the first days of his term in office has earned respect for his reliability and consistency in sticking to the facts.
There is also a Subordinate who makes your heart grow when you see how he represents our country with dignity in relations with our allies, guided by the principle of "a friend in need is a friend in dick".
And last but not least. The creme de la creme. The one who pulls all the strings. The one to whom we should constantly show gratitude for uniting, connecting and integrating this broken community of ours. For diagnosing social phenomena so accurately, like when he discovered that low birth rates were caused by punching in the neck. For so effectively exposing men pretending to be women. And for revealing to us the true face of the German.
What would I like to wish my puppets in the year of our Lord 2023?
I wish them to persevere. To endure this constant cavalcade of mockery and calumny that is thrown at them by the inferior sort. To cope. Down with the Brussels lackeys.
It's scary to think what would happen if, in a year, they had to be missing from my nativity scene.
